from couple of months i am trying to solve a confusion of mine. what kind of life do i want to live ?
do what others want me to do or what i want to do.
Upsy wanted me to do ms but is very afraid of my entrepreneurship insticts. and parents and relatives are waiting for me to join a decent job.
I dont really have any problem with a job. I will be more than happy to live with a 10 to 5 job with a decent payoff and be able to spend a good time with my family, and i really want to do that. i dont either have any strong problems with having a (non assholic) boss. I think the only thing i am most afraid of is to do some stupid work all my life. i want to live a creative life. I am also sure that there are many jobs around which would qualify for all these conditions. but i dont know why i still want to avoid a job. am i in the state of Van Wilder ?
Creative Life. Well.. i am not sure who i exactly mean by that. it can vary from just being in touch with the latest developments in technology to being involved in developments in cutting edge technology. i probably want to keep walking in this line and reach as far as i can.
But why the hell am i thinking about it so much. i guess thinking only complicates the life. and the most simple life of earth is of the biggest asshole. like couple of days before Nir was talking about the three architects from Fountainhead. One guy who will never do any thing assholic in life, another who know what assholic is but do it for a happy life, and third who cant tell how big an asshole he is. Though level of complexity of their level is different, they all are equally happy about their life. Because its relative to their own level of thinking. This phenomenon is best put in words ‘ignorance is bliss’. I am not supporting an asshole here, neither i want to be one, but i want to know what does one get by thinking so much. this is precisely what does the choice of red pill of blue pill means. “whether reality is worth pursuing?”
the bottom line is ‘the world is not real. its interpreted. inside our brain.’.
And when i am saturated with all these thoughts, PG writes How to do what you love, to solve my confusion or to increase it, i dont know. atleast not in first reading.
The exestential approach helps me but i still have many open questions on which i need to ‘think more’.
“apni marzi se kahan, apne safar ke hum hain,
rukh hawaon ka jidhar ka hai, udhar he hum hain.”
going to watch Matrix again. now.
 Nir is impressed with this book, and on his reviews i am soon going to read this book.
 Matrix Philosophy - Blue or Red Pill?
 i will write someother time what i exactly mean by that. but its a major part of my philosophy.
* found that Guy’s last point in The Art of Bootstrapping is a lot related to what i wrote.