smr’s blog

a beer can make me smile

and

Wanted to write on Ram thing. The news was interesting me. Only a short rant here.
C’mon folks. Face it. Its a story.
If you want to believe in the god concept, well, please do it in your personal space.
I never cry when you say god exists. I don’t have problems about your doing all your god things.
Then why do you cry when I say god doesn’t exist.

Best someone has put about atheism : “God made me an atheist. Who are you to question?”.
No. Really!
I had this idea and wanted to put in words, but it was already there in this nice sentence.

Some ass ruled that atheism is a religion. Fk u! It is not.

and

Wanted to participate in shaashtra ohc. But no time. They have put up really nice problems. If anyone is participating, I will love to discuss the problems. I might be of some help. Mail me.

and

Wordpress 2.3 ? Have customized the blog so much that it scares me to upgrade.
Following are the changes I did -
- theme, width increased
- can choose the category of the post to use in static url. Random url freaks me.
- categories list.
- a few plugins. Will they work ? Esp FAlbum, Page Links To, PHP Exec, Top Cat
The current version is good enough. I can stay forever with it. Is it worth an upgrade ?

PS : see ya next, if the blog is not demolished by some no-work-no-brain-no-thinking activists.

Listened to Jagjit Singh live. A long time wish come true.

It doesnt actually make any difference for me to listen to him live or on a player. I have no craze of listening to singers live. But Jagjit’s case is different. Have a bond with him of a decade.

I’m listening to Jagjit from 10 years now. Started listening to him when i was in 8th, and more regularly from 10th. I was not a lot into music till then. filmi music never made sense to me. I never understood what did my friends find so interesting in songs, and why do we have song in movies. Though later movies like Dil Se, Taal, Kareeb etc made me like filmi music as well.

I prefer to keep music in background. The purpose of music for me is to create an ambiance. I rarely like to keep music in foreground and listen to lyrics or appreciate the music.
During +1/+2 or drop i started playing gazals in a low volume while studying. And at IIIT continued to listen to gazals while working on pc. Gazals because they fulfilled my purpose of slow, soft background music very well. Now I like other kind of music as well, but they don’t go so well in background. They arent meant to.

I sometimes feel Jagjit as a important part in my life. When i was a senti kid, i use to listen to him. When i was crazy in love, his gazals use to share my feelings, understand me. His gazals maintained the ambiance, while i was thinking, solving the complex questions of life. I thank him as a contributor for my philosophical development. In my dream home, i never forgot to include his music playing in the morning and evening. I can’t imagine an ambiance better than created by his gazals. And a rack full of his albums.

After i introduced her to Jagjit, she too became a fan of him. She was too happy today for me listening to him live.

A few of my favorite gazals -
* Main nashe mein hoon
* Apne hoton pe sajana cahata hoon
* Apni marzi se kahan, apne safar ke hum hain
* Woh khat ke purze udaa raha tha
* Hazaron Khwahishe Aisi
* Jab naam tera pyar se likhti hain oonglian

A few days back Mayank, a friend who stayed with me in hostel during drop year, visited. He got job in hyderabad. That year we spent lot of time together, and are good friends. He said that i never called him, we only talked when he called me. I had no answers. i said i can’t talk on phone, but i couldnt explain when he mentioned my phone bills. He said we wouldn’t have met, if he wouldn’t havr come to iiit. i can’t deny that, not very soon for sure. i gave some stupid replies and changed the topic.

I’m not maintaining any relations. not in touch with any friends with whom i lived 7 important years in hostel. none of my childhood friends and friends i made during drop. no one. not even many iiit batchmates. if they start, i do reply. but i never start. what a kind of person i am ? i love all of them. i love to talk to them any time. i enjoy their company. but i miss noone. i don’t think about anyone. i am not even good with my family.

i can’t even say that i’m bad at maintaining distance relationships. probabely i’m best at that. i just admitted (in prev post). or might be its she who is staying close, starting it everytime.

But one good thing. My friends are not like me, they always stay in touch, and maintain the relations. So my behavior doesn’t matter. No. My friends too have a problem. They keep counting(not literally) that how many times did they call and how many times did i call. And over time, they start feeling uncomfortable about calling me. Slowly they start asking ‘Are you busy’. Although we do talk nicely, but the counts starts to matter.

Probably coz i rarely think about past. most of the times my thoughts are hypothetical. they are not about me. they are about noone. interrupt me while i’m thinking and ask what i was thinking about. i won’t be able to answer. i know i was thinking, but i won’t be able to tell what i was thinking about. i get lost in my thoughts so often and so soon. i don’t know if its common to have abstract thoughts. sometimes i think it won’t be difficult for me to live on a lonely island.

Most probable reason for this behavior is my speaking very less. I won’t speak until i have something(point of view) to say that no one in the group is touching, or to support what i think is so uncommon to support but i do.^[1] or until i’m high ( strong bc mood, very senti, frustrated, angry, anything but normal). This silence doesnt get noticed while we are together, coz someone else is speaking. But it doesnt help over phone, and thats why i avoid calling over phone.

I seriously need a psychiatric help regarding it. I don’t think i can improve myself, but i want to understand this behavior. tell me that this is common in 0.1% of people.

Hey friends. I’ve this disorder that i can’t help out. But i love you all, and want to maintain our relation. I love being with you, listening to you and talking to you. Pls reset your counters and stop counting. I will meanwhile try to improve.

Now, don’t call me right now. I don’t know how to reply. Take some time. But do comment, might help me.

^[1] I have a 4 months old post titled ‘why say the obvious’, but nothing more written. I think it will be fair to post it without any content.

Nothing irritates me more then inefficiency. And Reservations hosts inefficiency.

Reservation is harmful
Less capable candidate get an opportunity which if given to best candidate would have increased productivity of the system. The harm is double actually. First the less capable candidate is working at less efficiency, and second a better candidate is forced to work at another (bad) place where he cannot work at full efficiency.

Its time to end the reservation, not increase it
If reservations hasnt done any good in 55 years, then we should now understand that it doesnt actually help anyone. Increasing reservation can not be the solution. We need to think about alternate methods if we actually want to help anyone.

SC/ST/OBC is not the right criteria for choosing the needy
SC/ST/OBC doesnt exactly define the need of such a privilege. Its so obvious.

How many generations need reservations
After someone has got benefits from reservation why should his kids get it ? They would be at much better of than many general category kids. Identifying creamy layers doesnt work.

A cast can not be generalized by a few people
All people in general (aka non SC/ST/OBC) category are treated equally. There are needy people in general category also. The effect of reservations on them is manyfold.

Minority is not as objective as it sounds
If two minorities work together, the majority might become the minority. With only 25% of population falling in general category facing the reservation chaos, i doubt the definition of minority.

Reservation benefits only a few SC/ST/OBCs
Reservation benifits only a few already better SC/ST/OBCs who are able to give proper education to their kids. The people who are considered while making the laws are not fortunate enough to get benefits of reservation as they are not able to give quality education to their kids to compete with elite SC/ST/OBCs. The reservation is going to people who should face open competition.

SC/ST/OBC know that they don’t have any competition
Years of reservation system, and examples from society have made it clear to these privileged people that there is not big competition to them. So their expectations from themselves and their kids have decreased. This has harmed these groups more than it can benefit. The nation should try to stop building of such feelings in 75% of its population.

Long Term Effects
Had the deserved people worked for these 55 years in the country, the country would have been far more better than what it is, and that would had benefited all O/BCs equally, alongwith the nation.

Though most of my points talks about the problem with the reservation policy, I in no way want any modifications in the reservation policies to answer these problems. My call is for No Reservation. Alternate method to help the needy, like to give them free education should be adopted. Help them prepare for the competition but don’t kill the competition.

Its good that country has come together on the issue, and is strongly protesting against. But i don’t see any step back from what is already said. Why didnt Ambedkar ask for separate nation for god’s people. Kaash!

Pls don’t make me hate my nation.

I protest
I Sunil Mohan Ranta, hereby declare that i will not participate in any form of govt elections in India until reservation is completely abolished or a party comes up with strong agenda to do so.

Update : Jayachandra has digged Nehru’s stand on reservation. Its in perfect sync with my views. Salute you Mr Nehru.