smr’s blog

This article is about “how availability of information affects ones thinking”, and argue why “I didnot discover the laws of gravity, though my home is in an apple orchid.”

I will begin with my childhood, when they first told me that “the world is not flat, and its gol^[1]. And thats why we won’t fall if we go on travelling.” It didnt made sense to me at all. How does earth’s being gol help me not to fall? What difference does it bring to me by making it gol than flat. And my gol was gol as in disc.^[2] And this was a mystery for me to know, why the hell we won’t fall. I tried to ask this doubt couple of times from my teacher, but did not get satisfactory answer. Probably he didnt know how to answer this stupid question. coz i didnt mention that by gol i meant a disc.^[3] And one fine day, when i myself discovered that by gol they meant gol as in a ball, and not as in a disc… i made the biggest discovery of all time. And I was feeling greater than any Galelio.^[4]

And about the Apple thing… it was made too obvious to me that the earth sucks and i didnt get the oppertunity to ask why does the apple fall. I remember to have simpler questions like why does then “flame goes upward”, but i never again got the same feeling that i had after discovering that earth is gol, and thats why we don’t fall, and yeah.. gol as in a ball. Yeah… there are many things left to be discovered, but my point is that our approach is entirely different. We are not training ourselves towards discoveries.^[7]

People always told me that you should try to ask your doubts from your teachers and get them solved. They never told me that keep your doubts with yourself and go on thinking about them. Keep several background processes. I have not met a single person, who said that keep your doubts and think about them. They always guided me toward the easiest source of answeres. And once you get the answer, thinking stops. There is no mystery left to be solved.^[5] And thinking is the mental exercise. Remembering is no way a mental exercise. And thats what we have done all our educational life. Remembering all that they teach.

I don’t mean to rediscover all laws, and start science from scratch everytime. But before you look for the answer, make sure that you have given it a try, exercised your brain on that problem. And the educational system is exactly opposite. My science class was no different than my history class. “He discovered that and he did that experiment and bla bla….”. My science class was the class of ‘History of Science’.

I really feel fortunate that, i didnt get good teachers, who were able to solve all my doubts. They even didnt make the things clear to me. And I was left with lots of doubts, to think about. And best example of that is my intermediate physics. And at the end of the course my knowledge of physics was much more strong and clear than my teacher. I also had the tendency of not asking doubts. Probably I was shy or it was part of attitude. I will call it attitude, but people mostly call it shyness.^[6] This attitude helped me to keep my doubts with myself and do more parallel processing. I tried to save myself as much as possible from the educational system from spoiling me, and stayed out of it as much as possible. But i know lots of friends who never came out of it.

Is it that the system is wrong ? or i am wrong ? or the system is designed for some other kind of people and i was an exception to it ?

I am not a great scientist, and if the same article was written by some very great scientist, it would had carried much significance, and made intellectual people think about it.

- smr

“I was born intelligent, but education ruined me”.

^[1] i’m intentionally not using english here. coz thats what they told me.
^[2] ambiguity of the language.
^[3] coz i was not thinking in that direction.
^[4] not having a globe in the village school help me here.
^[5] i’m getting a feeling that my writing is getting inspired by Osho.
^[6] Yeah.. shyness is also an attitude. But the difference is one is “by choice”.
^[7] No one trained great scientists, but can’t we make an Einstein out of a common man ?

yesterday (31st July) was a great day for me. Had a wonderful time with GD and in evening got a crunky from her. She’s back to the college. Today her results were coming. She was doubtful about Economics and Maths^[1], and was afraid like anything. Surprisingly she did good enough.

yeah… yesterday… a perfect day. On 30th I got the mesg from Airtel that the STD rated on 30th and 31st are 1.5 per min. I thought not for me. She was expected to college around 2nd-3rd of Aug. And her calling me was like all good things meeting together for me. I had some 300 bucks. And this was the right time to spend them all. Talking after a long long time… and damn cheap rates. They lasted for really long time. It rarely happens that we are satisfied after talking on phone. But yesterday we were.

We talked about so many things, from childhood events to todays scenerio. Talked about Jagjit and Osho. Told her about my collection of Jagjit’s songs, and Osho books in library.

She always ask me “Why do you love me.. such a stupid girl?”. I never answered her question. I always said “for no reasons”. But yesterday I said something… and she was flattered. I dont remember what all did I say.. i was in a flow… it was like… she’s a very rare girl, who share thoughts with me, and most important that she is such a nice and senstive girl, that i want to take every oppertunity to keep her happy.

Complex forms of love…
discussed the things with her. I can’t really answer it. I dont believe in love. But i proudly call myself a great lover. I see love (i have learnt from ppls to call it so) just a choice i’ve made. when i seriously try to think about love, it doesnt turn out to be more than ‘the red pill i took’. And to be more precise ‘the red pills i took’. Its not a one time choice. To be in love you will need to make choices many times. And the choice you make depends on your priorities. And once I make a choice I dont look back. I believe^[2] that the choice i make at any time is the best choice available at that time. It might look stupid in future, but that time it was the best choice to make. So never look back after making a choice… and be proud of it.

One of my friend was talking to me about his breakup after an affair of abot 4 years. He said it feels like “He has wasted his 4 years for nothing”. I d ont agree. Marriage is not goal of love. love is the journey, and even if i will not be able to continue, i will always try to look at the past and adore it. How can you call it a waste? Then it was not love, you were actually trying to find a spouse. Then I agree that it a waste of 4 years.

Final Words…
If you will ask me… then I will ask you to make a choice and dont think more about it.^[3] But i also dont value all that the family do to anything more than blackmailing. I know they are more important to us than anyone else, but are they objecting for the right reason ? And make a choice, and try to live with it. Proudly.

^[1] do you see some similarity between US. I’ve got Fs in these subjects.
^[2] I dont believe in anything
^[3] you’ve already made the choice. now its the time for you to understand why did u make the choice.

“The latest fracas is over the updated Class XI text - Ancient India - written by noted historian R S Sharma, who says there is no scientific evidence to prove the existence of Rama and Krishna.”

Thats what I always said. Mahabharata and Ramayana are the best fictions ever written.

Don’t make the coming generations believe that James Bond and Harry Potter really lived among us.

Times of India :: Did Rama exist? Asks textbook
Proof: Advanced Ancient Indian Civilization existed

I dont like to be senti anymore. There use to be a time when I use to cry all night. I use to create scenarios, and become senti about that. I rember thinking about her marriage and weeping [ before my confession to her]. A state like a dream, but still awake. Myself directing the dream, and also weeping about it. I rember so often myself directing the scene of her departure, me controlling my tears till the last moment and bursting out at the last moment of her departure when she is meeting me. And my pillow use to be really wet those days.

I loved to live in the mind made world those days. I loved to cry all night. I loved to be senti. And I used to feel better with all this.

But it doesnt happen anymore. I hate being senti now. Especially for a mind made scenario. I do become senti (to a less extent), but i dont like being senti.
I see a loss of lots of emotions in me. I am becoming less emotional. And I bet, no one ever can be emotinal/senti like I was some time. That was a great time. So is it.

Change. Yeah… things do change… Its strange. I never thought I will change like this.

But I like what am i now. I feel much complete. Much stable. I think I am looking at life from a better height now. I will call it awareness and consciousness. I am not living in my mind anymore.

Yeah… Raincoat. And Devdas. I went through same kind of phase through both of the movies. That why did they do the mistake of not staying with eachother. Why was the sacrifice so important for ?
And I just know one thing. I will not make such a mistake in my life. No matter what. This world just blackmails you. For nothing.
Its my life, and I will make the decisions.

I want to talk about it. Utkarsh c’mon. And others too.