smr’s blog

there are two most important things which play role in a relation - Love and Fear.
we all know about love.. but what is this fear i am talking about ?

Mostly its a fear of loosing the relationship, and there can be many reasons for that. Most important of them is loosing someone we thought our life long partner. Another important reason is ‘not giving enough thought to the quit option’. Its a kind of psychological fear of breakup. And is expressed in words “I can’t live without you”. Other examples of Fear are inability to accept failure of love, fear of ending a relation that we cherished for long, ego about Love and ourself, fear of not getting another better(love,body,wealth,intellect) partner, fear of facing people whom we told stories of our love, fear of facing people who warned us not to love, fear of facing a new world.

What happens when -

Case: There is both Love and Fear
Result: Happy relationship

Case: There is only Love but no Fear
Result: Easily ends up with an undesired breakup

Case: There is only Fear and no Love
Result: Keep on dragging the relationship

Case: There is neither Love nor Fear
Result: Happy breakup

so its good to be on the extreme ends.. and avoid being anywhere in between. But long exposure to just fear.. make people habitual to it and happy life starts again.

Generally in teen love.. there is both Love and Fear in starting.. but slowly when they become independent and self supporting and mainly when they become able to think about the quit option.. they loose the fear. And the undesired start happening.
thinking about Quit Option means thinking about how far can we go with our partner. Its knowing what can we tolerate and what we cant, and knowing our own limits. Knowing Quit Options is good, as it gives us more stability, but it in some sense reduces our fear.

And in ordinary man’s life.. its the Fear that holds them together more strongly than love. And Fear is also the reason for old age togetherness.

I don’t mean that Fear is a negative thing which works. Its as desired as love. The feeling of “I can’t live without you” is very important, whatever be the reason for that.

Actually there was a very strong argument between US today, which made me think so much. btw we are having good time together these days and we have both ‘Love and Fear’. I am aware of my Quit Options but still in Fear. I am giving her enough time… unlike last month, when she use to complain about it. That time finally one day she screwed me for not giving her enough time, and i realized that i was really doing so.

PS : i generally write with ‘you’, and sometimes with ‘one’ but in this post i tried writing with ‘we’. I am thinking about the psychology behind this.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 30th, 2005 at 5:10 am and is filed under personal, philosophy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.